Scribblings...
May. 9th, 2004 09:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bluejeans07Not a fanfic, just a bit of creative writing that came from thinking about crowds and groupies... and the fact that my AIM wasn't working so I was feeling very invisible indeed.
I know you.
I've seen your face countless times. Of course, the reason for that would be because it's freakin' everywhere. I see it on the billboards, I see it on the screens, I see your smile... and a flirtatious pout on nearly every magazine. I see your eyes.
And I know you.
I know how you smile at everyone, showing a good face because that's what you want everyone to see. Everyone is happy to be in your presence, even if for a moment their eyes meet yours, they feel like they can soar. With one smile, they are to the moon, a slight touch of your hand sends them all the way to the source of Sirius's shine.
But I know you.
More than others will ever know... more than they want to know. They are happy with your surface, your smile. That's enough for them for they are afraid to jump, never knowing what they will land on. And maybe something tells them inside their hearts that you won't end up catching them. That you'll disapoint them, something they never want to happen.
But I see you. I see how you can be, I see the possiblities, one more unlikely and likely than the last. I see that behind every smile is a strong force that puts that smile there. I see in the gleam of your eyes, there is a soul, there is intellegence. But I also see the darker sides. I see endless amounts of work you do, I see exhaustion, I see frustration. And I see that no one around you understands you. I see how hard you work to meet their expectations, and I see how much you want to just fall over sometimes and cry, "It's too much! IT'S JUST TOO MUCH!"
But you keep going because in truth, you love what you do. You love how you feel when you perform, regarldess who sees it, or hears it, or what they feel about it. And that's what's important. Not the fame, nor the glory... or even the screaming shouting fans. But I think you know that deep in your heart, you are sometimes very alone.
I see you, I see that you are always busy, always tired. But you don't give up. And I'm glad you don't. I'm glad you keep going, I'm glad you keep working. I hope you never lose that star shining inside your heart. And I'm glad that you do what you do because you love it. That nothing holds you back from making yourself happy.
I know that I'm just another faceless person to you. That I don't have an identity, that I'm lost inside of the sea of screaming, shrieking fans. I'm not special in any way but one.
And that's only because I know you a bit deeper than many others do.
And that's good enough.
(In an effort to run away from his screaming fans, persistant manager, and clingy crew, a lone performer hid inside of a janitorial closet, then snuck out when he was sure everyone had left. The way out was through a long, dark hallway with the entrances to many rooms, and he had to grope the wall to make sure that he wouldn't suddenly lose his way. When he finally got out, he leaned against the brick wall of the building and sighed, enjoying the shine of the moonlight. Then he noticed something stuck inside of the chain link fence, nearly hidden inside of the flowering shrubs. With a quick, graceful leap, he had it in his hands: a delicate white rose that was dethorned, and a pale gray envelope that was addressed to him. In the envelope was a chain with a small handmade pendant and a note that had only three words, "Don't give up!" and a yellow smiley face sticker)
These ramblings always sound good inside my head but I always lose something when I try to write it down. Usually I get distracted or I'm called on to do something x_X; I want to add more to this, probably something involving how the narrator wants to get to know the person as a person and not as a modern deity. I'm kinda thinking I sound a bit hero-worshipy in this and that was the EXACT opposite I was aiming for x_XXXXX
I know you.
I've seen your face countless times. Of course, the reason for that would be because it's freakin' everywhere. I see it on the billboards, I see it on the screens, I see your smile... and a flirtatious pout on nearly every magazine. I see your eyes.
And I know you.
I know how you smile at everyone, showing a good face because that's what you want everyone to see. Everyone is happy to be in your presence, even if for a moment their eyes meet yours, they feel like they can soar. With one smile, they are to the moon, a slight touch of your hand sends them all the way to the source of Sirius's shine.
But I know you.
More than others will ever know... more than they want to know. They are happy with your surface, your smile. That's enough for them for they are afraid to jump, never knowing what they will land on. And maybe something tells them inside their hearts that you won't end up catching them. That you'll disapoint them, something they never want to happen.
But I see you. I see how you can be, I see the possiblities, one more unlikely and likely than the last. I see that behind every smile is a strong force that puts that smile there. I see in the gleam of your eyes, there is a soul, there is intellegence. But I also see the darker sides. I see endless amounts of work you do, I see exhaustion, I see frustration. And I see that no one around you understands you. I see how hard you work to meet their expectations, and I see how much you want to just fall over sometimes and cry, "It's too much! IT'S JUST TOO MUCH!"
But you keep going because in truth, you love what you do. You love how you feel when you perform, regarldess who sees it, or hears it, or what they feel about it. And that's what's important. Not the fame, nor the glory... or even the screaming shouting fans. But I think you know that deep in your heart, you are sometimes very alone.
I see you, I see that you are always busy, always tired. But you don't give up. And I'm glad you don't. I'm glad you keep going, I'm glad you keep working. I hope you never lose that star shining inside your heart. And I'm glad that you do what you do because you love it. That nothing holds you back from making yourself happy.
I know that I'm just another faceless person to you. That I don't have an identity, that I'm lost inside of the sea of screaming, shrieking fans. I'm not special in any way but one.
And that's only because I know you a bit deeper than many others do.
And that's good enough.
(In an effort to run away from his screaming fans, persistant manager, and clingy crew, a lone performer hid inside of a janitorial closet, then snuck out when he was sure everyone had left. The way out was through a long, dark hallway with the entrances to many rooms, and he had to grope the wall to make sure that he wouldn't suddenly lose his way. When he finally got out, he leaned against the brick wall of the building and sighed, enjoying the shine of the moonlight. Then he noticed something stuck inside of the chain link fence, nearly hidden inside of the flowering shrubs. With a quick, graceful leap, he had it in his hands: a delicate white rose that was dethorned, and a pale gray envelope that was addressed to him. In the envelope was a chain with a small handmade pendant and a note that had only three words, "Don't give up!" and a yellow smiley face sticker)
These ramblings always sound good inside my head but I always lose something when I try to write it down. Usually I get distracted or I'm called on to do something x_X; I want to add more to this, probably something involving how the narrator wants to get to know the person as a person and not as a modern deity. I'm kinda thinking I sound a bit hero-worshipy in this and that was the EXACT opposite I was aiming for x_XXXXX
