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I feel awkward writing this... it feels like I'm lost in a place where the roads lead off into uncertain direction. After driving practice with my dad today, I sat down and read your mother's book about you... what happend in your life... and how you spent the last few days before going into God's arms.
When I went through the chapter where you became lost in the world of darkness, I sat there and thought, "I didn't do this. I wasn't like this. I'm still not like this, I'm a good girl." I'm not. I'm just a mere hypocrite that shows the world a mask that the true self hides behind. I'm a beauty queen, attention whore who craves the attention and adoration from people.
You were the good girl. You were the true Christian in God, being able to break off the mortal chains and live your life for Him... even in your death. As I struggle, the mortal chains will break off on me, your memory and your heroic story will always serve as a role-model for me, and I know that God Himself and the people I love will always always always help me be the best I can be.
Thank you for waking me up, Cassie. At times when you and I are both rocked with indecision and being locked in our comfort zone, you found your way out of them. I am going to do the same.
When I go to God's heavenly kingdom one day, I hope that I'll be able to meet you. Although we will never meet face to face in my lifetime on earth, let's 'hang out' in heaven!
To anyone else who reads this entry, please read 'She Said Yes' by Misty Bernall. It is a novel about the life and death Cassie Bernall, the a normal young girl who was killed in Columbine High School defending her faith.
When I went through the chapter where you became lost in the world of darkness, I sat there and thought, "I didn't do this. I wasn't like this. I'm still not like this, I'm a good girl." I'm not. I'm just a mere hypocrite that shows the world a mask that the true self hides behind. I'm a beauty queen, attention whore who craves the attention and adoration from people.
You were the good girl. You were the true Christian in God, being able to break off the mortal chains and live your life for Him... even in your death. As I struggle, the mortal chains will break off on me, your memory and your heroic story will always serve as a role-model for me, and I know that God Himself and the people I love will always always always help me be the best I can be.
Thank you for waking me up, Cassie. At times when you and I are both rocked with indecision and being locked in our comfort zone, you found your way out of them. I am going to do the same.
When I go to God's heavenly kingdom one day, I hope that I'll be able to meet you. Although we will never meet face to face in my lifetime on earth, let's 'hang out' in heaven!
To anyone else who reads this entry, please read 'She Said Yes' by Misty Bernall. It is a novel about the life and death Cassie Bernall, the a normal young girl who was killed in Columbine High School defending her faith.
