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I really don't appreciate my mom enough
Dec. 4th, 2005 10:41 amSince I'd been having a rather difficult time as of late because of all the stress from finals, I had called my mom up and begged her to let me go on a vacation to visit my aunts after break. Today, I got a call from her saying that she wanted to come over and visit for a little bit and she brought me food and tea. I had run out of groceries but I didn't have time to go to the store so I was really grateful. She couldn't stay long but we talked for a bit about how I was doing and how my brothers were doing.
And then Mom told me about how she was sad to hear that I was stressed out, that I took too many classes, yet she was really happy that I called her up to talk and have a good cry. It was startling to hear her say that she knows that I don't confide in her or look to her for strength, that if I have problems, I find my own way, and while she's proud of my strength, it hurts her a little bit. This made me think that I don't appreciate my mother enough, she's always been there and she's always the one who's willing to listen to everything with a more open mind than my father.
I can't imagine how it feels to have the oldest two of her three children not go to her for guidence. While Charlie may be the one who may be doing everything 'right' in my parents' eyes, it's also because of that relationship with them probably isn't as close as mine. He's distant from his family, going to church and his friends to soothe his woes. I go to my friends too, after a while I can't stand being at home and I have to go escape to Mandy's house after awhile because of the nagging that ultimately happens, but all the fighting has made me realize that I have to be honest or else it just makes things worse. With that honesty comes a slightly closer, if not odd, relationship with my parents than my brother has, they haven't really fought about anything extreme while I have.
It's strange how things work. But in the end, I don't appreciate them enough. I should do something really nice for them this Christmas. =) Any suggestions?
And then Mom told me about how she was sad to hear that I was stressed out, that I took too many classes, yet she was really happy that I called her up to talk and have a good cry. It was startling to hear her say that she knows that I don't confide in her or look to her for strength, that if I have problems, I find my own way, and while she's proud of my strength, it hurts her a little bit. This made me think that I don't appreciate my mother enough, she's always been there and she's always the one who's willing to listen to everything with a more open mind than my father.
I can't imagine how it feels to have the oldest two of her three children not go to her for guidence. While Charlie may be the one who may be doing everything 'right' in my parents' eyes, it's also because of that relationship with them probably isn't as close as mine. He's distant from his family, going to church and his friends to soothe his woes. I go to my friends too, after a while I can't stand being at home and I have to go escape to Mandy's house after awhile because of the nagging that ultimately happens, but all the fighting has made me realize that I have to be honest or else it just makes things worse. With that honesty comes a slightly closer, if not odd, relationship with my parents than my brother has, they haven't really fought about anything extreme while I have.
It's strange how things work. But in the end, I don't appreciate them enough. I should do something really nice for them this Christmas. =) Any suggestions?
