Beware all ye who enter here...

I went to the Renaissance Pleasure Faire in San Bernardino today. Ohhhh it was SO MUCH FUN! =D My friend Anne works there for the Celts/Clan MacCollen/St. Andrew's Guild as a dancer and a kitchen girl. Mandy dragged me there two years ago for my first time, I cosplayed as Chichiri. Last year, Mandy took me again and I cosplayed as a regular English girl. This year however, she already had went without me so I dragged my parents there. I don't think they had as much fun as I did, even at all the naughty NC-17 stuff they have there XD Timmy, my nine year old brother on the other hand, had a GREAT TIME! He even learned how to play the ocarina!

When people think of the RenFaire, they think it's boring and educational. It may be educational, but it's NOT BORING at all! It's one of the most perverted places I have EVER been to and it's HILARIOUS!!!

Over the years, I have become very fond of this three man theatre group called Sound and Fury (www.soundandfury.org). My main reason for going to the faire was to see them perform their hilarious plays: "Romeo and Juliet, Version 2.0) and/or "Testicles and Ye Olde Sack of Rome".

I get to the faire at about 10:30 AM, and wait with my brother as my parents go buy the tickets. Timmy was all STARING at all the people in costume! I want my own RenFaire costume *o* Anyway, we enter and my parents this time are all STARING at the different crafts and people doing tricks, but I want to go find Anne ASAP so I lead them off to go search for St. Andrew's Guild. I had to pass about two stages to get there and on the second one, I notice a bunch of people in costume singing on stage. Then I look closer and I notice this one guy looks like Anne's dad (who literally looks like Santa Claus) and on the second row is Anne singing. So I drag my parents over and we sit on the benches they provide as we watch all the members of Clan MacCollen sing. I notice then that Mary's sitting in the second row wearing Anne's spare costume so I go over and sit next to her. We watched them all sing until the show was over and then head toward St. Andrew's Guild to hang out.

Anne, Mary and my friend Chris all had kitchen duty so I just hung around chatting with another girl Emily and another girl name Trinket who swears up and down that I look like her best friend when she was my age XD Anne then tells me that a battle's going to start so I head over to the battle field and snagged a seat. Battle is a pretty much a fake battle where the different clans reenact certain battle scenes between English and other nationalities. It's hilarious at times, one time when I was there, a really cute English guy pretened to get shot in the balls XD Another time, the Celts didn't have enough people to go out for them so Anne's mom Cathy (who is Goddess of the Kitchen and makes the most delicious food I have ever eaten) went for them and pretended to die in the first shot. Then a shout went up, "YOU KILLED THE BROWNIE LADY!" and the Celts charged forward, yelling, "BROWNIE! BROWNIE! BROWNIE! BROWNIE!"

But since today was Memorial Day, both sides died a tragic death and no one won.

Anyway, after battle, I went back to St. Andrew's Guild where Anne promised me that she'd be free after lunch and we could go off and wander together. So I hung around, smelling all the delicious food coming from the kitchen, stealing bad slices of cheese that Anne didn't cut too well, and then snitched a brownie when none of the other tourists were looking. Keep in mind that I can do this because I'm a friend of of the daughter of the Goddess of the Kitchen!! No one else! Just me >=D

But yeah, so I talked to Trinket a bit, talked to Emily some more, and somehow, Anne's dad convinced me to put on a chain mail @_@;;; It was soooo heeaaavy!!! They put this padded coat on me, then a padded bonnet, and THEN the chain mail @_@;;; I could not MOVE. Then one guy found me amusing, got me a sheild and an axe and taught me how to battle. Anne came out at one point and laughed at my misery but shut up really quickly when I waved my axe in her direction. Then the guy used me as a demonstration on how even though I was wearing chain mail, he could still kill me. That wasn't fun. It was fun when we were having a mock battle XD

Guy: Now, I want yee to try a battle yell, like this: GRAAAAAR!!!
Me: YAAAAAAAAAAYY!!! =D
Guy: What da hell was that? Like this: GRAAAAAAAAAR!!!
Me: WHEEEEEEEE!!!
Guy: Yee are a hopeless case, that's what yee is. -_-;;
Me: =D

I was planning to get more food later, but Anne and Mary couldn't finish their meal so I ate the rest and was too full to buy anymore *o* Anne's mom can cook lamb reeeeeeeeeaaaally reeeeeeeaaaaally well *o* So during lunch, we sat down and watched this storyteller recite a few stories and do a couple magic tricks. Then we wandered around the faire grounds and looked at the various crafts they had. I was immediatly drawn towards the jewelry, it was gorgeous!!! But so very expensive T_T I found the PERFECT pendant for Rey to wear on this golden chain that his grandmother gave him, it was this wolf dog howling that was 14K gold.... but it cost $75 @_@;;;;

There was a show on the NC-17 stage that Anne wanted us to watch but it wasn't going to start for about half an hour so we wandered around some more and sat down to watch this HILARIOUS show about two guys, swords and tetosterone XD Then we left towards the end and went back to the stage to watch the naughty show, which turned out to be a group of guys who would sing songs about penises, beer and hoes XD It was SOO FUNNY! At one point, they had all the women in the audience yell at the top of their lungs, "PENIS!" And it turns out Anne has the CD so I'll be borrowing that from her XD

At last, at last, it was time to see Sound and Fury perform "Romeo and Juliet, Version 2.0" Gosh, it changed from when I watched it last XD

Well, that was my day at the faire. If anyone wants to go before it closes, call me up and let me tag along!!! I'll show you all the naughty places to go >=D