Being Asian-American...

I know it's plainly in my face that I am Asian-American. I know love history, anime, manga, things that come from Asia. But I also had trouble with the same things I loved, especially with my parents and what I struggled for. It's really hard to be Asian-American sometimes, especially as a first-generation with the history still ringing strongly in my blood. I should be proud of who I am, but sometimes, I felt stretched and squished at the same time.

A lot of things are incredibly unfair in my view. Especially how women are treated in family, to be looked at strangely because they're not married or they chose someone who is not Korean. I saw my most favorite aunts go through that and all the gossip that surrounded them. The two of them are happy with their respective non-Korean husbands and they sincerly believe that everyone is happy for them, but it's half-true and half-not since the family gossips about them.

Also, it's hard to go back to Korea. I know what Mel's going through right now but I haven't been through it for a long amount of time like she is. I remember an incident when a younger cousin, my friend Meehee and I were at the waterpark and the three of us made an innertube chain like a few guys were doing. The guys wanted to connect to us and talk to us and whatnot, and while I was about to, Meehee stopped me. It's incredibly uncomfortable because I stand out, the way I carry myself, my weight, my clothes, my appearence screams that I live in America. It's hilarious and saddening at the same time, especially since sometime I miss Korea like crazy. I miss the busy streets, the rice paddies, the nice mall, Korean television (although I don't miss the cheesy dramas!)... I really miss Danyang Mountain and all of it's natural beauty.

And especially after just finishing 'In the Absence of the Sun' by Helie Lee (who is the daughter of my grandfather's friend) I can't help but feel proud of my background. I won't spoil it for anyone, but I really really encourage everyone interested in historic and modern Asian/Asian-American studies to pick up this book, as well as it's predecessor 'Still Life with Rice' *shifty eyes at Annie ohnee*

Hey, blood is blood. I'm born Korean-American, I'll die a Korean-American, and I'll continue to live my life as one. Not aZn or white-washed... but just Jean, the Korean-American who likes to draw, devours books and loves anime. ^_^

Some quizzes I took from da boys and Noin!

You are one of the few out there whose wings are
truly ANGELIC. Selfless, powerful, and
divine, you are one blessed with a certain
cosmic grace. You are unequalled in
peacefulness, love, and beauty. As a Being of
Light your wings are massive and a soft white
or silver. Countless feathers grace them and
radiate the light within you for all the world
to see. You are a defender, protector, and
caretaker. Comforter of the weak and forgiver
of the wrong, chances are you are taken
advantage of once in awhile, maybe quite often.
But your innocence and wisdom sees the good in
everyone and so this mistreatment does not make
you colder. Merciful to the extreme, you will
try to help misguided souls find themselves and
peace. However not all Angelics allow
themselves to be gotten the better of - the
Seraphim for example will be driven to fighting
for the sake of Justice and protection of those
less powerful. Congratulations - and don't ever
change - the world needs more people like you.


*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
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Aaaaannnnnnddd...

Ask me a question - anything about me or my life - and I will give you an honest answer.

I expect lots of questions here people! Lots and lots!!! XD Bwahahahaha XD