Food for Thought

[bluejeans07]

I was reading through my friends list when Sam asked a question to the Endless Void that is the Intarnets~

Is love primarily a selfish emotion? Why or why not?

I found it so intruguing that I decided to answer it in my own journal and leave it open for responses from you guys!

So, is love a primarily selfish emotion? Depends on the type and stage of love doesn't it? Since there is a paper being written about this question and because Valentine's Day is around the corner, I'm going to assume that it's love that one person can feel for another who isn't related to that person whatsoever.

I definately think that love CAN be selfish, in a sense all emotions can be selfish: sadness, happiness, loneliness, etc. Emotions often times do influence actions so I can easily believe that love can influence a selfish act, such as trying to steal the person away from another person, or refusing to break up with them when the other wants to be alone. The whole thing of falling in love can also be a selfish act, such as choosing one guy over another guy because that guy fits the 'Ideal Guy' better, but you just DO it, you don't ask them if it's all right for you to fall in love with them.

And then comes Courtship Rituals. This feels like the part when love slowly turns from being selfish to being unselfish as you go from wanting them to having them and having to deal with having them. It sounds rather pessimistic but this is the part where the person discovers everything about the other: dislikes, faults, bad habits, hobbies, etc. If there is TWU WUB involved, then the person in love will forget about their own wants at to accept and love each of those faults and sacrifices will be made. As two people grow more attached to each other, there will be a level of selfishness and unselfishness, from big decisions such as disregard for one's own safety, to little ones such as who gets to have the last piece of chocolate in the See's candy box.

Ultimately, all emotions are a double edged sword: selfish and unselfish, dangerous and protective, of self or of others. It's the choices and actions of the person feeling the emotions to make the correct choice to either hurt someone or use it to protect someone.

Of course, Christine Lavin can always say it better~

So if you think you love her, take your time
Walk her in the moonlight
Maybe even try to write a line or two of poetry
Or perhaps a song.
You might find you're building
A love that's going to last a long, long time.

Comments

[onyxmoon.livejournal.com]

I think love is selfish; people usually fall in love & keep said love around because of the way their partner makes them feel; it's all about their feelings and how can this person benefit me? I learned this in a sociology class in spring of '04. Most relationships - regardless of romance or friendship - is usually based on a subconscious selfish thought, "what can this person bring to MY life?"
But most species in life work this way. The little birdie that sits on the hippos back is being fed by the buggies that live on the hippo...the bird is taking care of that awful itching feeling so the hippo is equally happy. It's a win win situation.
I think so long as the benefits are understood and mutual the selfish basis is irrelevant.

[thebluelady.livejournal.com]

techincally it's a dopimine? sp imbalance that would be classified as an addiction..so we cant help how we feel when we are in love.

I think there is selfless and selfish love..depends

[candleschildren.livejournal.com]

((Replying as Gillichu because I saw this on his f-list first, and because his reply is much more interesting and not nearly as wishy-washy as what my own would be >.> ::uses inappropriate icon just because:: ))

You are the crazy lady's friend, yes? The Amaury-molestor. Right. Okay then. Just checking.

Of course "love" is a selfish emotion, particularly that which is experienced when one is "in love," because what a person who is "in love" ultimately wants is the return of his or her feelings by the object of their affections. No one is happy with "just knowing the other person is happy," that's utter bullshit that's put out by the card companies that have built up so much hype around such "holidays" as St. Valentine's Day or Mother's Day. Love is ultimately a transaction between two people where one person exchanges what they have to offer with the other person. Despite what the storybooks tell you, there is no such thing as unconditional love.

I would say more, but the crazy lady is glaring at me as apparently she thinks I shouldn't be writing in her friend's journal. I say it's your own fault for leaving it out.

Love chapter : 1 Corinthians 13

[doc-sama.livejournal.com]

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.

And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.

For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.

But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.