It's a funny old life...

[bluejeans07]

I've never been to a funeral before and this one was slightly atypical. For one thing, the girl who has passed away was a childhood friend, we played together in kindergarten and first grade, but we went our separate paths after that. I'd see her around in middle school and high school but we never had the same classes and we hung with different people. When I think of her, I still remember her as a little girl with crimped hair and a polka dot black and blue dress, and sometimes I see glimpses of the teenager she was with long black hair, big hoop earrings and thick eyeliner. She djed and loved music and she was a cheerleader, while I watched anime obsessively, formed a club around it, and pretty much the Queen of Nerd Town. I was the only one from the "nerd group" to go to her funeral... and it was so odd because all those feelings from high school came back. I saw the girls and the guys who... well, weren't my friends but we knew each other. They all remembered me and there were many hugs and tears shed. When we were asked to share a memory, I did stand up and recite how I remembered exactly what Sheryl was wearing when she came to my birthday party when I was in the first grade, how we never really remained friends but saw each other around and how different we both became.

I think this whole experience was harder on my mother than it was on me. She went with me to the Sheryl's funeral and she cried when the family spoke... it's a lot more about how Sheryl was the same age as me, and I think it's really struck her on the possibility of outliving one's child...

Emotionally, I'm exhausted. Last Saturday, I was around people who cried out of happiness because two wonderful people were joined for life. This Saturday, I was around people who cried out of sadness because a wonderful life was cut short.

Comments

[bluejeans07.livejournal.com]

Funerals are definitely very depressing... and I think you're right that I've been hit with a double whammy so I'm just completely exhausted.

I guess fragility of life is something I don't usually think about considering my strategy always has been "work hard, keep going, keep planning" but it's never like... 'normal things' like moving out from home. I focus a lot on my career and my own projects and stories that I develop... and I really don't like the idea of never ever finishing one. That's pretty much what I've been feeling and even though I try to focus now, it's hard because I'm just tired.

Hey, wanna be a pirate? I've been playing Puzzle Pirates to distract me, it's free. XD